11/28/2007
Second star to the right
& straight on till morning!
So I was just in the shower and had one of those
oooh, epiphanic (is that even a word?) moments. Haha it was kind of like looking at something through film or something but anyway, point is I wasn't wearing any contacts/glasses, and in those 2 seconds I could see completely clearly and everything was sharp like I had 20/20 vision but then I blinked and they blured again. Totally psychological I tell you.
Anyway, can't wait for Christmas holidays! About 3 weeks to go I think. So many things planned, and I really want to do something on Christmas day itself but we've never really celebrated Christmas, not like we're religious or anything right. All thanks to Chloe and her infectious appreciation/enthusiasm. haha. I'll miss school though, a little bit of the busyness. Speaking of, I am so so lucky to have met the people I have, and I'm so glad they decided to put me in this form in Y9 and also, that I decided to stay on. I mean, we aren't best friends but it's been so amazing with them, we have our little crews and everything and it's amazing to see how much we've grown and how much we're gradually openning up to each other each day. And also how we're becoming more transparent to each other every day. Which reminds me, we have a new countdown to Christmas on our whiteboard in the form room/lab, have I mentioned how much I love this form? Hahaha, it's brilliant especially seeing how different we all are.
Also, Y7s have gone through to finals in Cheerleading! Hahah fantaaaastic. But it's only because the Y9s decided to pull out. Haha ahhhwell, I've reestablished a I-love-this-form attitude so it's alll good. (:
I'm still homesick, but like I said, it gets better. Haha which reminds me, SLT (Senior Leadership Team - head girl + stuff) applications are due in on the 14th, and they couldn't have come at a worst time. Well, that was my first thought anyway. Now I'm thinking, instead of thinking whether we're suitable or not, I'm just trying to figure out
why I want to do this, and whether I want to at all. I mean however slight the chances are, if you
do get chosen then that's it, and it'll be crazyyyyyyy. Even crazier than it is now (which is saying something). And yeah sure,
to make a difference, right? But looking at the way I'm handling the Y7s right now, you know it's not going to be possible on that large a scale. At the moment.
I really need to figure out how to be the person everyone seems to see, so many things seem to be exaggerated when it comes to people, and how they see things - I mean, I can see how they're all being sincere but I can't convince myself that they're really seeing the real thing without any of the embellishments that come from not seeing all the different sides of the story, if that makes any sense at all. & I'm just thinking, if I have to try so hard to convince myself that I'd be able to do the job, would it really be the right choice if I
did eventually get a position?
Here goes, another rambling entry. By the way, don't trust anything I say today my mind's not in it as shown by how (Lit is totally doing affecting all my writing skills) I said something really long and confusing to the Y7s today during rehearsals without having a clue what I was saying and where I was going. Also happened while teaching in Mandarin Club. So. Blame it on 4 hours of singing yesterday (nothing compared to Leah's 8 though) especially the crazy Elgar rehearsal at the boy's school that only finished at 10 (in which I got an Aflat!!!!!), and a 16-hour day yesterday (because I stupidly went to bed at 8 the night before and woke at 2 the next morning). Elgar was faaantastic by the way, the most amazing sound you have
ever heard no matter how much we don't understand the lyrics. 6 hours of singing this Saturday then there'll be no more of him, which'll be sad BUT there's still the Christmas concert which is promising to take up even more time than Elgar, if that's even possible. Hahahah sixth form is crazy.
[Edit: 29112007]
Today was crazy. Faaantastic, busy, horrible, hilarious all at once, which is saying something and I just really wanted to note a couple of things down because I
know I'm really not going to make it to my diary until the Christmas holidays. Hahah.
First things first, I love my Maths group. HAHA sure, loads of us aren't
friends, or friends where you properly talk to between lessons if it doesn't concern work, but we have so much fun together, especially laughing with MrD who's brilliant. Hahahaha he's not a very professional maths teacher but he's damn caring and sincere, and tries so hard to be one of us it's reallly really funny - in a good way. Anyway after school, Hoosai was on cleaning duty so me, Yasmin and Zara stayed behind to wait for her for some reason? We all go in seperate directions home anyway, I don't know why we stayed. But yeah, while Hoosai cleaned the 3 of us went to the sixth form garden and had a little chat. And it was nice. :) It was about 345/4, we stayed till around 430 and it was getting dark which kind of added to the whole atmosphere but yeah, it was really good. and revealing. lol? Also, I just rerealised that I reallllly realllly love singing. And all that crap about being afraid to sing in front of other people is really complete junk and just keeps getting in the way which is annoying. Anyway pooint is if I don't lose my voice today I'm realllly looking forward to Elgar on Saturday because we're gonna produce the most amazing sound it'll be brilliant. Uhmm what else. OH, also, Lit today was really good! Haha dry but now I'm finally identifying how I need to improve. Come Christmas, I'm gonna have to work so hard I tell you. haha, I love it when you find ways to move forward though, it's the best feeling, ever. Also, in the midst of all this stress and work and
situations, it seems our little crew is somehow getting closer and closer even though we hardly have time to talk in school. And when I said hardly, I mean
at all. Haha it's brilliant, and just maybe, some of these ties are gonna last. You know how the whole faith thing works - it'll get there.
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:D
6:27 PM